In the DVD you say we shouldn't base our treatment of others on how we would like to be treated. Aren't you contradicting "the Golden Rule"?

The "Golden Rule" is the popular version of what Jesus says in Matthew's Gospel (Chapter 7, verse 12):

Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets

Or more popularly, "do unto others as you would have them do to you." 

Now it may seem as if we are suggesting that this isn't so. We say on the DVD something to the effect that "treating other people based on how we would like to be treated can often annoy or upset them". But reflect for a moment.

Jesus is talking about "do WHAT". Are you going to do things which do good to, build up, encourage others; or are you going to do things which do evil to, tear down, discourage others? Here's the test - what would you prefer that they did to you? Personally, I absolutely agree with what Jesus says. I would rather people did positive things to and for me, and will try to do likewise.

On the Birkman Express DVD we are talking not about "do WHAT" so much as "do HOW". "Do WHAT" tells me that if I have a problem with another person, I need to talk to them about it. "Do HOW" says that just because I prefer to get that kind of communication in a plain and unvarnished form, that doesn't mean that they share that preference. So I need to be sensitive to HOW they need to receive communication, not just assume that what I would prefer will also work for them. But that is what we are talking about the HOW of your communication and interactions, not the WHAT.